Interview With Le Libérateur
November 24th, 2011 
Todd Who is Thomas T. Turkey?
Due to the sensitivity of the information involved, all that I can only tell you is that I’m somewhere in the back woods in the mid west.
My journey has involved a train, the back of an old pick-up, a horseback ride, and wrapped up with a piggy back ride across a large field.
Upon my arrival to a makeshift village, I was greeted with scowls, sideways looks, and mumbles that I couldn’t make out.
It’s all worth it though. After all this is a chance to chat with the one simply known as Le Libérateur (The Liberator), aka Frank the turkey.
Todd: Seen any good movies lately?
Frank: You some kind of wise guy or something? I invited you here to talk about the plight of my brothers.
Todd: I know. So, what about the movie?
Frank: Ya, sure. We saw that new movie about the dancing penguins.
Todd: How was it?
Frank: Serious? That’s the bird that yous guys should be eating on Thanksgiving.
Todd: “Yous guys”? Are there a lot of turkeys in Jersey?
Frank: Did you ever see what happened to Frado?
Todd: Ok then. So, why’d you bring me out here?
Frank: I represent a group known as ‘Let the Turkeys Go’.
Todd: Really, that’s the best that you could come up with? No wonder we eat you. How about ‘Enlightened Angry Turkey Management Endeavor’?
Frank: Excellent. You really are a friend of Meleagris Gallopavo.
Todd: Huh?
Frank: Turkeys. You’re a friend of the turkeys.
Todd: Oh, sure… I love turkey. Speaking of turkey, you realize what today is, right?
Frank: YES. I’m very aware. THAT is why you’re here.
Todd: Look, if you’re going to get testy, I’m going to have to stuff this conversa…
Frank: Don’t say that!
Todd: What do you want to tell the world.
Frank: Eat more chicken.
Todd: Chik-fil-A already uses that slogan. What’s the deal passing the buck on to one of your cousins?
Frank: Please, that’s no relative of mine. Chickens are dumb as they come.
Todd: What’s your stance on the economy?
Frank: The way that I see it is that if the economy is in the toilet, fewer people will be picking up my uncle Butterball at the grocery store.
Todd: That actually makes sense.
Frank: They don’t call me “Le Libérateur” for nothing.
Todd: Right. Hey listen, I need to be getting back… you know, so that I can spread the word.
Frank: Oh sure. Yeah. Hey, it was nice meeting you.
Todd: For a made turkey hiding in the woods behind Mr. Greene’s farm, you’re very polite. Want to come over for dinner?
Frank: Hey, that’s really nice of you.
Frank “Le Libérateur” T. Turkey went further underground. He has not been heard from since the time of this interview.
Photo: sbppa
Happy Thanksgiving, from ours to yours.
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